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THE SECRET LIFE OF PARENTS

I will start each post with this introduction so if you are a follower, you can skip through this, but if you are a first time viewer you will know why I’m here.

I will start each post with this introduction so if you are a follower, you can skip through this, but if you are a first time viewer you will know why I’m here.

I thought a while about what I want this blog to do.  I want it to generate conversations.  But the word conversation evokes speaking, physical listening and verbal response.  What do you call this on paper? And more so, what do you call this in the virtual world of blogging? 

So instead of creating verbal dialog, oral conversations, and physical listening, let’s use this as stream of conscious writing. 

Blogging has the advantage of being pretty anonymous.  The likelihood of any of us meeting or even seeing one another in person is rather slim, not completely impossible, but still rather slim. 

So feel very free to respond openly so we can be honest. So yeah, let’s talk with our fingertips.  Write with me, listen to what we read and feel, and respond.  Repeat.

I will be musing about a variety of things, most from the view of a Boomer.  I may write about books read, current events, personal memories, crazy ideas, humorous asides – maybe even recipes.

There will be some limits set, but at this time I do not know what they are. However, when a line is crossed, I will respond with a poke for you to SYOB (start your own Blog) on that subject. 

Today, I am thinking about….

shh!!!

THE SECRET LIFE OF PARENTS

Have you ever stopped to wonder who your parents are/were?  Who were they before they became parents back when they were just people?  You do know they are people and not just parents, right?

I  think the parents of boomers were adapt at burying themselves.  As with most of us, we met them after we were born. Who were they before?

We may remember what we saw.  We may remember what we were taught.  We may have fond memories of holidays, but do you know who they were before you came along; before responsibility and child-rearing was a 24/7/365 for 18 years thing?

Some of you may know the answers to this.  If so, congratulations!  If you have children, tell them who you were (unless you’re still in the witness protection program or something).  Share your story so that they know how life can be.  You never know how this may be just what someone needs to hear.

Even today in the time of almost complete transparency, many youth have no idea who their parents are.  Some don’t even know a full name.  

I must admit, I learned a lot about my mother after she died and I had to handle her  affairs.  Oh, I knew a lot about her, where she grew up, went to college, jobs, social activities. But after she died I learned more, which made me wonder who she really wanted to be.  I knew the answer to that for my dad, and I’m glad I did.

Spend time at the dinner table talking with your children (emphasis on the word with), comparing stories from the past mingled with what’s going on in each of your lives today. 

Do the same with your grandkids.  You’ll probably get a kick out of the looks on their faces when you tell them you were at Woodstock and knew Jimi Hendrix personally, or that you really wanted to be an Archeologist.  But most of all, teach them that parents are people, too.

Looking for Possibilities

 I love living somewhere where the seasons change. I love spring and fall the most but I also love to complain about the heat of summer and the cold of winter.

Spring always brings to me a new hope for excitement- a fresh beginning. Near the end of winter I start looking at the trees to see if I see any inkling of budding, and I look in the grass to see if the crocus are about to stick their heads up through the frost.

When I see these, I began to get a little bit excited because I know spring is on the way and with the spring comes new birth and with a new birth comes promises of all sorts of magical things to happen; the promise of a positive future.

 There are times when I wish for one season or a modified season where the temperatures vary between no colder than 40 and no hotter than 78 and the humidity stays somewhere around 30% year round. That would be such a wonderful wonderful climate, but I’m pretty sure somewhere down the line I would find it boring.

There would be no looking forward to spring, no suffering through summer, nor the excitement of fall knowing that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner based on the change in the season. No complaining about the cold and damp and dullness of winter- the season of death; knowing that spring is just around the corner. 

So I guess I have to say spring is my favorite season, although I love the colors and the smells of fall. But fall brings a foreboding of things to come that are dormant and fairly neutral in shade. So, yes, I love living where the seasons change, where there’s always a possibility of something else  just around the corner.

Relationships

I will start each post with this introduction so if you are a follower, you can skip through this, but if you are a first time viewer you will know why I’m here.

I thought a while about what I want this Blog to do.  I want it to generate conversations.  But the word conversation evokes speaking, physical listening and verbal response.  What do you call this on paper? And more so, what do you call this in the virtual world of Blogging? 

So instead of creating verbal dialog, oral conversations, and physical listening, let’s use this as stream of conscious writing.  Blogging has the advantage of being pretty anonymous.  The likelihood of any of us meeting or even seeing one another in person is rather slim, not completely impossible, but still rather slim. 

So feel very free to respond openly so we can be honest. So yeah, let’s talk with our fingertips.  Write with me, listen to what we read and feel, and respond.  Repeat.

I will be musing about a variety of things, most from the view of a Boomer.  I may write about books read, current events, personal memories, crazy ideas, humorous asides – maybe even recipes. There will be some limits set, but at this time I do not know what they are. However, when a line is crossed, I will respond with a poke for you to SYOB (start your own Blog) on that subject.  Today, I am thinking about….

Relationships

Relationships

Tell me about your relationships.  I promise if I write about them in a book, you will not recognize yourselves and the names will be nowhere near yours. 

Let’s talk about dating and developing relationships in our sixties and beyond.  How has your scope changed? How has your long term relationship changed over the years? 

After two failed marriages and a couple of dating fiascos I decided to accept solitude and remained that way for close to twenty years.  Well, there was this one guy who dropped in and out of my life over a twenty year time span.  Nothing serious.  Conversations.  Then he dropped in a couple of years ago and decided to stay.  I decided to let him.  And even though we live in walking distance of one another, we really have a long distance relationship. We’re both single.  It seems to work.  He has his life, I have mine.  We understand each other.  Is it perfect? No.  But is there really a perfect relationship? Perfect?

Tell me about your experiences. 

Why do you like each other? What works?  I am a self-professed HGTV junkie and House Hunters is my show.  Many times I think it should have a relationship counselling segment built in.   I wonder if relationships dissolve after that experience.  My track record does not scream expert so enlighten me.

Little Things

I thought a while about what I want this Blog to do.  I want it to generate conversations.  But the word conversation evokes speaking, physical listening and verbal response.  What do you call this on paper? And more so, what do you call this in the virtual world of Blogging?  So instead of creating verbal dialog, oral conversations, and physical listening, let’s use this as stream of conscious writing.  Blogging has the advantage of being pretty anonymous.  The likelihood of any of us meeting or even seeing one another in person is rather slim, not completely impossible, but still rather slim.  So feel very free to respond openly so we can be honest. So yeah, let’s talk with our fingertips.  Write with me, listen to what we read and feel, and respond.  Repeat.

I will be musing about a variety of things, most from the view of a Boomer.  I may write about books read, current events, personal memories, crazy ideas, humorous asides – maybe even recipes. There will be some limits set, but at this time I do not know what they are. However, when a line is crossed, I will respond with a poke for you to SYOB (start your own Blog) on that subject.  Today, I am thinking about….

The little things

Today I was supposed to be reading, and writing scenarios for my second book, Tangled Webs, but I have too much swirling around in my head.  I was going to blog about ‘little things’ that we take for granted – pinkie toes and fingers, for instance. But I keep thinking about this amazing two-day women’s conference I attended yesterday and the day before. 

So I am sitting here encouraging the swirling to stop. I’m going to focus on the little things for a moment.

How often do you give God thanks for the little things?   When I stubbed the pinkie toe on my right foot it threw my gait and balance off for a week.  The next week my left hip was sore because of my compensation for changing the way I walked. 

As I type this, I am forced to use one hand.  I have a torn rotator cuff which has left my left hand useless.  I cannot use my fingers and have limited muscle control of the arm. 

Now for many people who do not depend on left arms, this may just be a minor inconvenience, but for those of us who are ambidextrous or truly lefties, this is a major interruption.  Bathing, dressing, cooking, driving are all hampered or stalled to some degree by this. 

These little things often get overlooked when overshadowed by bills, relationships, bigger health issues, the weather and our political climate. 

Sometimes I think these minor disturbances happen to remind us of the little things and the need to take care, slow down and savor the moment we are in.    

Now, back to thinking about my next blog….                                                                     

The GYM

I thought a while about what I want this Blog to do.  I want it to generate conversations.  But the word conversation evokes speaking, physical listening and verbal response.  What do you call this on paper? And more so, what do you call this in the virtual world of Blogging?  So instead of creating verbal dialog, oral conversations, and physical listening, let’s use this as stream of conscious writing.  Blogging has the advantage of being pretty anonymous.  The likelihood of any of us meeting or even seeing one another in person is rather slim, not completely impossible, but still rather slim.  So feel very free to respond openly so we can be honest. So yeah, let’s talk with our fingertips.  Write with me, listen to what we read and feel, and respond.  Repeat.

I will be musing about a variety of things, most from the view of a Boomer.  I may write about books read, current events, personal memories, crazy ideas, humorous asides – maybe even recipes. There will be some limits set, but at this time I do not know what they are. However, when a line is crossed, I will respond with a poke for you to SYOB (start your own Blog) on that subject.  Today, I am thinking about….

The GYM

It’s not that I don’t have a lot to write about, I do.  I am currently writing the sequel to  Move In With Me.  It’s about…well, I can’t tell you that until you’ve read the first book which I hope will be published in early 2020, but it’s title so far is Tangled Webs.  In the meantime I thought I’d share a post I wrote a while back in 2012.  Sometimes I read these and say this is no longer true.  Not so with this one.  I don’t think this will ever change.  What about you?

I have finally decided to admit what I’ve known all along:  I hate the gym.  I don’t want to “work out”.  I don’t want to “work” period.  I want to play.  I want a playground for adults.  I think it would be great to have large indoor playgrounds where the “ground” was a really tight trampoline (like a boxing rink floor?) so that if you fell down, you may not break anything, and getting up may be easier.  On this ground you would have:

It would not have showers.  Go home grimy. When you get there, take your shower or bath, relax and go to bed.  I bet we would be less stressed and a lot happier if we did this.

  •  swings – (wide bench seats for one) and lots of them.  Nothing like stretching out in a swing to get height to your pendulous motion to work every leg and stomach muscle (not to mention arms) that you have.
  • monkey bars – (several sets to accommodate short, average and tall people) along with the climbing dome and a rock wall for those linear thinkers; 
  • the horsey ride – (work those abs!).  
  • There could be dodgeball, volleyball, and of course badminton courts
  • What great playground does not have a pool?  And, because we are adults, it would have a sauna and a hot tub!  
  • I wouldn’t mind a sandbox either for some creative outlet.
  • Let’s add a line dance hall as well.

After a hard day at work, I’d rather go play.  What about you?

I Wrote a Book

I thought a while about what I want this Blog to do.  I want it to generate conversations.  But the word conversation evokes speaking, physical listening and verbal response.  What do you call this on paper? And more so, what do you call this in the virtual world of Blogging?  So instead of creating verbal dialog, oral conversations, and physical listening, let’s use this as stream of conscious writing.  Blogging has the advantage of being pretty anonymous.  The likelihood of any of us meeting or even seeing one another in person is rather slim, not completely impossible, but still rather slim.  So feel very free to respond openly so we can be honest. So yeah, let’s talk with our fingertips.  Write with me, listen to what we read and feel, and respond.  Repeat.

I will be musing about a variety of things, most from the view of a Boomer.  I may write about books read, current events, personal memories, crazy ideas, humorous asides – maybe even recipes. There will be some limits set, but at this time I do not know what they are. However, when a line is crossed, I will respond with a poke for you to SYOB (start your own Blog) on that subject.  Today, I am thinking about….

Personal Journeys

It was 2004, and I was fifty-three when my twenty-one year old son and I were having  dinner at the Olive Garden and he flipped the script on me.  Usually it is the parent who is the grand inquisitor but this time, Austin took on that role.  “Mom, now that Jon and I are both grown, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?”  

It’s not that that question wasn’t on my mind almost constantly, it’s just that I had no answer and he wanted one.  I did want to travel and listed a few places I wanted to go.  Austin told me to make it happen instead of just thinking about it.  We became travel buddies and went to Phoenix AZ and Santa Fe NM. 

Writing a book was not on the agenda. 

I had written articles for peer reviewed journals.  I had written book reviews.  I had actually written a series of children’s books for kids who love math but hate to read but could not get them published. So writing a book was not on the next life agenda. 

I had been involved with libraries  almost as far back as I could remember.  I remember I was about five and my Mom and I regularly walked  to the library to find our next reads.  My mother was a chemist with a Master’s degree in chemistry but could not get a job in Cleveland Ohio as such. 

We were in Cleveland while my Dad completed his PhD in physical chemistry at Case Western Reserve University, then known as Western Reserve University.  Prior to that they had both been Faculty at West Virginia State College.  I was no stranger to books and libraries. 

Later on, after Cleveland became home for us, Mom went back to school and received another Master’s Degree this time in Library Science. 

I did not get the science/math gene (Mom’s undergrad degree was in mathematics).  I was a liberal arts major – English; Education minor.  I was going to write history text books that students really wanted  to read.  I got a Master’s Degree in Educational Communications specializing in writing/designing programmed texts and managing media centers. 

I could not get a job.  I, too, began working in libraries again (worked in my undergrad library), and just like Mom, I went back and got a Master’s in Library and Information Science.  I began a forty-three year career in public and academic libraries that ended when I retired at the beginning of 2017. 

The question came back. What do you want to do with the rest of your life?  I thought I had that handled.  I had a lot of side projects.  I was going to be busy.  And, In fact, I am busy.  But I am ahead of myself here. 

One day in 2013, I was in a funk about the lack of fiction written for baby boomers where the main characters were over fifty-five. Where there were some they tended to be snooping around the neighborhood solving some mystery.  African-American fiction was less representative.  The best example was Bertice Berry’s Jim & Louella’s Homemade Heart-Fix Remedy: A Novel. 

Baby Boomers are a large and vibrant group of people.  We needed representation in fiction!  A few days later, I had a big thought.  I swear it came from God. 

I have a vision of a story (I keep stories running through my head like my own on-going entertainment system) about a sixty something couple who’d been dating for awhile when he, out of the clear blue, says to her, ‘move in with me’.  Now what would that conversation sound like.  How would that play out.  What would you say?  What would I say?

I made the mistake of telling two of my best friends, Deborah Johnson and Sharon Ware about the story line.  Both told me to write the book.  I hemmed and hawed. I started and stopped. I wrote notes and thought about the characters who at the time were nameless.  I walked away.

  Once in awhile I was poked from my conscience (God).  Over the years, both Sharon and Deb bugged me about the story.  It was Deb who nagged me the most.  Where’s the book?  What’s going on with the book? 

Well, I’d never written book before.  Plays, yes, book for adults?, no.  I’m stuck. What voice do I use and how do I do it?  I’d read a few books.  How did other authors convey a story. 

Well long story short, after much prodding from Deb it became fish or cut bait time. I figured I could do a short story.  I did not think I could write that much (as you can see from this post, I was mistaken).  Three hundred and two pages and a lot of editing later I had a book.  It’s title? Move In With Me.                                                                                  

I started pulling my notes together in early February of 2019 and finished it in April.  Thanks to several friends and relatives, including Deb and Sharon, I had a finished piece.  Now the really hard part begins.

Publishing.  I’ll write about this process as I go along.  I have joined with an agent who is also a publisher herself.  She is going to act as my agent and try to get a publishing house interested in my book. Gail Dudley is the publisher of Ready magazine.  If you have not seen it or read it lately, check it out!  More on this part of the journey later.

DANDELIONS

Welcome. 

I thought a while about what I want this Blog to do.  I want it to generate conversations.  But the word conversation evokes speaking, physical listening and verbal response.  What do you call this on paper? And more so, what do you call this in the virtual world of Blogging?  So instead of creating verbal dialog, oral conversations, and physical listening, let’s use this as stream of conscious writing.  Blogging has the advantage of being pretty anonymous.  The likelihood of any of us meeting or even seeing one another in person is rather slim, not completely impossible, but still rather slim.  So feel very free to respond openly so we can be honest. So yeah, let’s talk with our fingertips.  Write with me, listen to what we read and feel, and respond.  Repeat.

I will be musing about a variety of things, most from the view of a Boomer.  I may write about books read, current events, personal memories, crazy ideas, humorous asides – maybe even recipes. There will be some limits set, but at this time I do not know what they are. However, when a line is crossed, I will respond with a poke for you to SYOB (start your own Blog) on that subject.  Today, I am thinking about….

Over the years I have wondered what has happened to the Baby Boomers.  Baby Boomers are the children of the Greatest Generation and the Silent Generation. Baby Boomers were born between 1946-1964.  People speak of the Greatest Generation as if they are long gone – history as they are in their mid-nineties now. But some are still with us.  

The greatest generation were people born between the years of 1910-1925.  The Silent Generationers were born between 1926 and 1945.  Both could have fought during WWII; both could be parents of Baby Boomers. 

I am a Boomer raised by the Greatest, literally and figuratively.  My parents were born in 1923 and 1925.  I was born in 1951 making me an early middle Boomer.

Boomers are famous for the free love movement and Vietnam war protesting.  We are known for liberal views on sex, religion, civil rights. We are known for being about peace, green, and wholistic living; herbal living, etc. It was just these descriptors that made me think of Boomers as dandelions. 

When Boomers were little, they were cute little things, but the older generation saw a wildness in us that they had not expressed or been able to express.  They tended to try to nip that in the bud.  Dandelions were blackballed.  They were branded a weed regardless that they were a really pretty flower with a lot of positive and healthy uses. 

As with many things, on one end of the spectrum someone is profiting by selling herbicides to kill dandelions while on the other side, they are being sold in grocery stores at gourmet prices.  

But like the dandelion, we have an amazing resilience and having survived the teen and young adult phases, have grown grey and decided to spread our ideas and behaviors all over the place.   

But this led me to question, where did they go?  With the real dandelion, I don’t have to ask that question.  They are all over place.  I see them everywhere.  But in life, where do I see Boomers influencing  now?  For instance, what do Boomers wear?  Where do they shop to find these clothes?  You used to be able to tell the age group of a woman from her hair and clothing style.  Now, Boomers dress like Xers. 

Those so liberal Boomers of the sixties and seventies have become the leading Conservatives of today’s government.  Though the herbicide did not kill all of the dandelions, some got away unscathed; some became super-mutants and lost that carefree concern for others. Some were tainted and in need of care.

I for one really like dandelions.  I run a dandelion refuge center in my yard.  I seek out dandelions, young and old to hang out with. We are vibrant, we are funny, we are creative, we are talented.  We are here.